If you want to read more about different practices and how to do them, then there are lots of good books available about BDSM. The main difference between a dominant and a top is that the dominant ostensibly does not follow instructions, although they are limited by what the submissive is willing to do. The main difference between a submissive and a bottom is that the submissive ostensibly does not give instructions, although they do set limits on what the dominant can do.
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For couples who are really struggling to communicate about sex , or who have very different desires and are finding it hard to reconcile this, it might well be useful to see a sex and relationship therapist for a few sessions. The Pink Therapy website includes many kink-friendly therapists. It might be that people stick to the same roles each time they play together, or that they take different roles on different occasions. One trans lesbian who also identifies as a submissive described being a switch as: However, it is important not to assume that the only form of BDSM is the one described in the book. What effect can this have on a marriage or couple relationship? The top may sometimes even be the partner who is following instructions, i.
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But I also really enjoy giving up control. However, it is important not to assume that the only form of BDSM is the one described in the book.
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